I Wrote Down a Dream I Had Pt I

I had a dream we visited a gift-shop. The store had an "N" out front – for what, I don't know, but it pleased me to think it was the same letter as the name I had before we were married. At first we thought it odd to meander the isles and see framed prom pictures displayed for sale. They looked like they were supposed be generic filler photos, like in the rows of identical frames at Aaron Brothers, only the dresses were several years out of fashion and the faces had the familiar poise we all held at my own prom. Even though we were not at The Grand Canyon a barrel full of the memorabilia that might have dangled on our first keychains stood next to another barrel of "class of 2004" trinkets. We pushed through buckets of wind-up toys and the trading cards I remember stuffing in the pockets of my first backpack in third grade.

I ran into someone I knew from college. Someone who'd been my friend for a very brief, but very lively semester. We were looking at a box of custom, brightly colored aluminum darts that had a fancy "N" for the shop's insignia inscribed on each one; it was the kind of thing an 8-year-old me I would have spent all my prize tickets from the arcade on: commemorative of the visit and slightly hazardous. He didn't seem to recognize its function and I giggled, tossing it at a stack of dart-boards hanging nearby. We laughed together and made a few more attempts before I noticed where my husband spoke to a girl our age at a similar box of trinkets. She aimed a tiny plastic phaser-gun from the box at him – the kind of toy I would proudly carry on my car keys now – and made the sound effects of shooting. He laughed and took it from her, pulling the trigger to show her its automated ability to produce laser-shooting sounds. I was displeased and jealous, but I ignored the moment having just had one of my own.

Others wandered into the shop. I knew some of them vaguely and I could see they knew me, but we were embarrassed at not being able to place each other and avoided one another. The growing popularity pushed us, the original passerbys, further to the back and we passed the shelves of prom pictures, the boxes of knickknacks, and found ourselves among the delicate porcelain and glass arrangements from Grandma's china cabinet. Looking around, my own friend reached high up on a top shelf and pulled down a coveted, vintage polaroid camera, "I wonder if it still works!" He aimed it at the other two and then pulled a stiff lever which gave abruptly – causing him to hit me in the face – and flashed. I remembered why I stopped being his friend.

The flash, interrupting their conversation, prompting them join our conversation. We introduced one another to each other and relayed the stories of how we met. More joined us, inspired by the exchange, to reveal who they were and make an effort to guess at the common events that might have connected us all. As the crowd moved in, the woman clung to my husband as if he were an anchor in a sea of people she wished not to have contact with - I could have been looking in a mirror, but my jealousy was becoming unmanageable and began to pull away. My former friend compared his Polaroid with someone else's found Brownie pin-hole and an even older twin-lensed Rollie-Flex. The exchange over cameras, photography being my own interest, and my place outside the conversation compounded my resentfulness and I elbowed my way completely out of the store, half-hoping to be noticed, half-hoping not to be stopped before I could disappear outside completely.

The Estate Sale Lady

Some images from the coolest estate sale ever (cinematographer and model maker)

I visited Avila Barn & Gopher Glen

On Monday, my mother-in-law, Sarah, and my sister-in-law-in-law (who is wife of my brother-in-law & mother of my nephew, Isaac, who is 11 days older and twice as big as Petra!) went on an adventure to Avila Beach, which is not too far from San Luis Obispo.

The intent was for the Los Angeles daughter-in-law (me) to get some much needed fresh, sea air with a stop over at Gopher Glen to pick up some apples for Sarah I (Yiayia to Petra). But Sarah II (aunt to Petra) and myself have become very fond of homemaking since becoming mothers - particularly the part that revolves around food:

As Proto Yiayia ("first/great-grandmother" to Petra) says

"Greeks don't eat until they're full, they eat until their tired" and "Now you have a Yiayia. You're Greek."

And so we also ventured to Avila Valley Barn.

Oh what treasures of food and kitchen we found there! The shelves of each place were stalked

with all kinds of jams, jellies, and spreads while each table held rows and rows, boxes and boxes or fresh-from-the-farm veggies and fruits. There was honey from apple orchard! Fresh apple sauce! Apple butter! Apple fillings! Fresh apple pies! Apple turnovers! Apple Cider ice cream! And did I mention the apples? OH THE APPLES!

I made out with merely a sample of each...

Not only was the farm a farm complete with hay bale rides to their pumpkin patch, it also had a "saloon" with jars and jars of candy and buckets of fresh ice cream. At each end of the complex were stores with old-timey toys, kitchen goodies (including the most incredible

Honey-comb themed tea set), and busy bakers and roasters.

For those of us who like to touch our food, tend to the soil and wonder at its creation, Avila Barn is a truly magical place.

Below are some enticing and panoramic photos of our adventure -

(click to large panoramas)

Avila Valley Barn:

Gopher Glen:

The Pizza Martyr

I cannot help myself but rail against Mama Edda's Gourmet Pizza as the owner recently demanded storage here under some unreasonable terms and offensive language. Perhaps the pizza is good, but this angry, insulting little man sure knew what he was doing when he cursed me and my day. I don't like how much I don't like him. When you're the king of your own dominion, I suppose the rules of reasonable social interaction get screwed a bit.

Edda is his wife, but the national pizza chain is his own.

He stored some old equipment from another store with us; it was brought here from Michigan and partially used to open the new store in Old Town Pasadena. What was not used at the store was left in the unit to be sold to another local pizza restaurant. I can imagine that, not unlike the way he surely handles business and relationships, it was accidentally forgotten when its usefulness was exhausted and, thusly, he became late and owed an extra fee. It was this unfortunate conveyance of information that lead to a series of back-handed insults at my inability to run my store well. Grrrrrr... In any event, he eventually paid, transferred the unit and its contents to a new "sorry sap" who could "waste his time storing his s*** with [me]" and the he unhappily, if purposefully, went on his way - to return on the day when the transfer of s*** was to take place.

During the their exchange and the updating of the contract (which took place in our store), the man who bought the contents saw, for some reason, in this rollie-pollie, ghastly fellow a person whom had achieved pizza greatness; he milked the few minutes they had together in the office for any pearls of pizza wisdom he could glean from Mr. Mama Edda. He truly only had a few moments as Mr. pizza tyrant was late to the transaction and had to waddle off to another equally amiable engagement... Grrrr.... Jim, the new owner of the goods, was the owner of his own very small, local franchise called Sweet Basil Pizza. He asked questions of the man that pertained to how he got started, where the locations were, how much capitol it took to build & start his pizza empire and how the economy was effecting it. Mr. Mama held his composure, addressing the questions like the were simple and bothersome, but Joe was eager to hear - even if he already knew the answers.

When it was only Jim in the office with us, he turned to us beaming at the good fortune of such an interaction. I wanted to correct him in his joy and reveal to him the depravity of the awful person whom he felt sincerely graced by. I had no chance to educate him, though, because he was already rambling about the encouragement for his own pizza restaurant the conversation had given him.

He said to us, "I could pick that brain for hours and hours - he is a successful owner of his own pizza franchise! I want to know how he did it!" To my ignorant position I thought Jim was not different, he had a few stores himself. He explained that he had "only just started to franchise" and was "only opening his 3rd store in Ontario." From Mama Edda's he had bought chairs and a new stone firing (?) oven in hopes of turning his place into a sit down restaurant with "a nice patio and such."

And then, as if one topic naturally led to other, he told us about how only a week before he had been held up in his own house with his family at gun point. In one breath he transitioned from his hope for the future of Sweet Basil to an unknowable violation in his recent history. A guy charged in through the front door, they were just watching TV, and demanded the family's valuables . "The next day I told my manager what happened to my family the night before–"
"You went to work the NEXT day?!" I said.
"Of course, I did. What else was I going to do? That's what I do. Ya have to keep going– that's what I do," he said referring to running the pizza place, "Stuff happens and you gotta keep going even if it's not easy cuz it's what I love. It's what I do, it's what I want to do... I made the dough myself, ya know? I came up with my own recipe and made that dough and made the restaurant. You hafta to take a risk, you hafta put down all that money and worry about it tanking all the time but thats just what I do. I'm not getting rich of it, heh, maybe I'll spend my whole life putting money into that place, but [Sweet Basils]'s what I want. It's my place and it's my restaurant and I blow 'em all outta the water – you just come get a free pie from me tonight, I'll show you – and I'll be there tomorrow if someone holds up my house again tonight."

I can't quite put my finger on what was so humbling and edifying in what we heard from him. After he walked out Matt turned to me and said, "He is the pizza martyr."


Despite Google mapping and calling Jim directly, Sweet Basil was hard to find as it was rather un-remarkable. I think, in spite of myself, I was looking for a Mama-Edda's-all-lit-up-&-clean-cut restaurant. The store, sandwich between some other forgettable store and a 7-11, was made up of basically the giant pizza oven and a counter. No drinks, no tax, a flat screen TV and broken cash drawer where our $5 bill for the salad went and sweet sweet basil in the dough. It was the most magical pizza I've ever had.

Technology doesn't help old people

I'm back! And life has a pace again - oh, Lord - life has a rhythm. I'm so happy. So happy to be working and so happy to have a home again. So happy to be living out of a dresser and not a suitcase and happy to be repaying debts and gifts of kindness; half of which required no reciprocation.

I missed you, Internet world! I can't say how many of my truly lovely friends find my sentiments baffling and this favored medium of interaction, somehow, artificial and insincere. But in having to take a hiatus from my laptop created space for some new observations to take place that have inspired me and caused me to be more enamored with our technology and more in love with people.

More on that later.
I am taking my last class this summer. I will finally have my overdue BA in Sociology by mid-July. You are all invited to the party - it will be a grand affair consisting mostly of a large scale scavenger hunt and a lot of food. (I am planning on investing more time in setting it up than in my class... unwise?)

Below is my first short essay. It's awful. AWFUL. But I think it makes some interesting points worth commenting on. The course is Intro to Gerontology and the topic was an exploration of whether or not technology is a help or hindrance to the elderly. What do you think?

Technology, by definition, is the ultimate byproduct of human creativity and pragmatism; it is the development of tools that aid humans in their pursuit of enlightenment, comfort, or vitality. Technology is the human response to the preservation of both individual and collective lives and lifestyles. In a consumerist culture, the most valuable life is that of the consumer. When faced with the question of importance and application of technology for a specific sub-group of a given culture, we must consider both how able the group is to consume and how applicable to their lifestyle, and therefore how interested they may be, to the product in question. Because technology is funded and perpetuated by the demand of the consumer, particularly in America, it follows that technological development caters to the most normal and high consuming demographic. The elderly (65+ y.o.) only make up just over 12% (but growing) of the US consumer market while the bulk of the working and consuming age group (20-55 y.o.) make up well over half of the population. It is logical to assume that most technology is developed for this sub-group of the population and their specific demands and needs.

For the growing elderly population, technology is only as useful as it is consistent in its application. The cell phone may be slightly helpful to the elderly lifestyle because it is simply a more advanced version of a technology that previously existed, the telephone; but computers, particularly new forms of social interaction available via technologies, are more difficult to implement and are not designed for use by the elderly. A glance at the ads and layout of social mediums like facebook & myspace will reveal a format hardly conducive to the inevitable site and audio difficulties developed later in life. Likewise, the growing necessity of usage of such social networks further isolates the elderly from a generation with a unique form of relationship. This is not to say that the elderly cannot adapt and communicate in these fashions, but the rate at which technology evolves and changes is not expected in the aging generations as it is by the modern children of technology.

The lack of demand for assistive technology for the elderly is the result of several factors working against the potential development of technological aid. The 65+ group cannot create a demand for itself as it does not carry enough influence as a minority population. There are simply not enough people in the sub-group to unify under this specific consumer demand. The elderly also represent a significant portion of the population that is not working and, therefore, cannot independently pursue or afford a perpetually more convenient or comfortable lifestyle. Due to the sharp decline in veneration of our elderly, advocacy for the minority by more highly represented consumers does not exist either. Because of poor representation for needs of the elderly in the technological market, most developments, it would seem, are unsustainable, expensive, or difficult to attain and implement. Such assistive tools that do not have the proper support can be dangerous or a hindrance to an elderly lifestyle.

Technology that does exist in an assistive or enriching form for the elderly is simply residual consequence of products developed for the aforementioned, larger subgroup. For example, the development of the medical alarm necklace, or panic alarm, commonly used to send an emergency signal in the case of an accident or out of reach phone was originally designed for government facilities and guards as a security device. There are several examples that include creative uses of mobile devices, hearing and sight amplifiers, medical tools, and even food, etc, that originally had little to do with assisting the elderly. But such creations that were not intended for operation by the elderly may contribute to sedentary, unhealthy lifestyles or dependencies that suit the primary consumers’ demands more than they benefit their users. In the case of the panic alarm, such technology replaces what was originally human responsibility – the application of this particular device encourages a lifestyle of independence more closely affiliated with the primary demographic than what may be most conducive or beneficial to its elderly user.

Before technology can be truly helpful to our aging population, the majority must recognize the elderly as valuable social group worth preserving and assisting with our technological endeavors as our own needs and comforts are.

Quotes and Sources from my paper

These are just some quotes I will be using through out my paper. Some food for thought on economics and hospitality for you. =D

THE CREDIT CRISIS points to the inadequacy of any ultimate credo whose object is anything but God. God is our refuge and strength. And God’s sustaining power is not tied to the Dow. - Adam Hamilton, Article from Sojourners "Faith, Hope & the Credit Crisis"

He black power base, political base, is not based on activism, is not supported by commerce, not supported by other Black millionaires, we don’t have that many Black millionaires. So what we have is this dynamic where this Black powerbase is based on the White powerbase. So when you have someone, like Jeff who comes along, who is not tight to the political structure, not tied to the dynasties, that kind of creates a problem for the Black political power base. Because they’re like, “uh oh, I like this guy, this guy is speaking to my issues, he’s exciting my people, but he’s not my bread and butter.” And it’s a shame, but that really is the dynamic that the Black powerbase is really dealing with. We didn't get our own so we have to depend on this other, artificial, but yet real base. - Sylvester Brown, from "Can Mr. Smith Still Get to Washington?"

“Capitalism is wrong because even if it succeeds in delivering the goods, it nevertheless works against Good, corrupting (and perpetuating the corruption of) human sociality in competitive and confliction modalities.” -Daniel Bell

"Justification of ungodly behavior comes from the sanctification of cultural wisdom." - Matt

“… I think the statistics about happiness and satisfaction indicate that, deeper down, we know we’ve been over liberated. There are communitarians and social conservatives and progressives for whose “community” has become a magic word, a mystic goal. But it is our economic lines, even more than our moral choices, that play the crucial role in wrecking or rebuilding our communities. We need to once again depend on those around us for something real. If we o, then the bonds that make for human satisfaction, as opposed to endless growth, will begin to reemerge.” McKibbon, Deep Economy

Concern with getting uor needs met keeps us bound to ourselves – our deceptions, our distortions, and our autonomy. - Newman, Untamed Hospitality

(I did not pick the best quote from this book, but it's one I thought that was good offhand.. I highly recommend read)

“It is the task of economic policy to grow the economy as rapidly, sustainable, and inclusive as possible.” Bill Clinton

"[When] money means grace – it means one has grace; it is an indication of one’s graced state. And [when] grace means money – it means one has money; the grace one has, one’s religious standing, is an indication of one’s economic status.” Kathryn Tanner, Economy of Grace

“You can’t ignore people when God is looking out their eyes at you.” Homan & Pratt, Radical Hospitality

"Sometimes intellectual conversations boil down to the capacity to quote the right authority at the right time." - Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out

“From the beginning to the end, the people of the Bible are people of hope. All of them saw the star of promise in the long night of this world, and glimpsed the first streaks of daybreak colours heralding God’s new day.” - Moltmonn, Jesus Christ for Today's World

"How often is your guest room occupied by a stranger? Isn’t it usually prepared for grandmother or aunt Sue or your college roommate? …
Who knows what rich experiences the next guest at your door may have to share with you. Think how your life has been broadened and enriched by the personalities of your friends. …" - Ahleen Heynen, "Given to Hospitality" published in The Banner

“Everything about me is recessive” – my dad to my grandmother

Heart & Lungs

I have a sneaking suspicion that there is a more curious than obvious reason for the automated nature of our heart-beat and breath.

NPR woke me up about 6:30 a few days ago with a story on a university experiment that debunked traditional attitudes toward multitasking. It caught my attention right away because I have generally considered myself a decent multitask-er and have prided myself in the past on identifying those who are and those who aren't. (i.e. my artist-husband). But as I listened, I learned that human brain cannot actually multi-task. Rather, it very quickly jumps from one task to another - so quickly, in fact, that we do not notice. This causes us to divide our attention among the number of tasks we involve ourselves with.( 1 )
Tangent 1 | Tangent 2 |

Can you imagine what it would be like to need to consider the air that we take in while driving a car? What if we had to make sure our heart kept beating in rhythm while we carried on a conversation with our significant other?

I know that I cannot read through my inbox and have a conversation with my friend over the phone. I can pretend to "actively listen" by repeating main points my brain caught during the tug-of-war between email and cell - but in the end, I am desperately trying to force my friend and her conversation into the framework of my agenda. To "kill two birds with one stone" does not speak of an advantageous opportunity, but rather a lifestyle I am desperately trying to practice.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with busyness. When my husband is telling me about a new piece he is beginning while I am taking care of our finances, I sometimes feel entitled to lump him into the category of "Obligation I Must Fulfill" by effectively allocating my attention. In these cases, I treat my companionship as a scarce commodity that I distribute to pre-prioritized demands. I let a "competitive individualism" slip in, one that "tries to reconcile itself with a culture that speaks about togetherness, unity and community…” ( 4 ) My relationships become part of a to-do list, rather than the context by which I operate.
By the practice of this attitude, I might respond to a frantic friend's tears by deciding her needs are urgent and take precedence over my planned priorities. While this may seem like a compassionate response, it comes as a knee-jerk reaction that demands my "scarce" attention at the cost of the status my social charity. Elizabeth Newman writes, “In a market society, all human relations are reduced to contract, destroying the longer-term bonds needed to sustain human society.” ( 5 ) I still play by laws of supply and demand and, in truth, I superficially respond to fulfill a duty in my friendship.
But I wonder if, perhaps, I had truly and fully, without distraction, devoted myself to her in a few days sooner, if I would have been aware of her deteriorating state before her collapse.

“Living a life that places higher value on relationships and community than it does on commerce and productivity – this is counter to how much o us have been taught.”( 6 )







(I also heard somewhere that women do this far better than men because they have more connections in their brain. This is also why they are much more social.( 2 ))
Return to reading.

(holy cow, I just told Matt that according to this study (3), man and women are equally capable of multitasking but women make fewer mistakes than men. I said this is for many reason reasons and one being that woman have a higher blood flow to their brain; his response to this "I can't help if it I wield the wand of power.")
Return to reading.

1: How Multitasking Affects Human Learning (NPR)
2: Why Men Never Remember and Women Never Forget (Science Blogs)
3: Gender Differences in Multitasking (MWSU)
4: Nouwen, Henri J., and Gerard W. Hughes. Reaching Out : A Special Edition of the Spiritual Classic Including Beyond the Mirror. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1997.
5: Newman, Elizabeth. Untamed Hospitality : Welcoming God and Other Strangers. New York: Brazos P, 2007.
6: Pratt, Lonni Collins, and Daniel Homan. Radical Hospitality : Benedict's Way of Love. New York: Paraclete P, Incorporated, 2005.